I flew to and from Borneo on Malaysian Airlines. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised. The airplanes were new and extremely clean, the flight attendants were gorgeous and had impeccable English, and the food was delicious.
The only problem was that the airplane had clearly been built for Asians. Not only did I bonk my head on the airplane door while boarding (I was distracted by the beautiful batik uniforms the flight attendants were wearing) but I couldn’t stand fully upright anywhere in the plane.
My ridiculously long legs also proved to be a bit troublesome. There was no way I could get them to fit. There simply wasn’t enough room between the back of my seat and the seat in front. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone sitting beside me!!
My legs were also a nuisance when it came to the airplane bathrooms; I couldn’t close the door while sitting on the toilet. I contorted myself in all sorts of interesting ways before finally leaving the door open a crack and asking the flight attendant to stand guard.
The inflight entertainment was interesting as well. I had forgotten that Malaysia was a Muslim country until I saw the interactive Qur’an. It was beautifully illustrated but sadly only available in Malaysian or Arabic. I wondered what made it interactive.
I decided to watch a fluffy romantic comedy. Malaysian Airlines had given it an “R” rating; I have no idea why. It wasn’t even the slightest bit racy.
I can’t remember the title but the plot was silly. Malaysian censors however had vastly improved the script. Any suggestive body part word was replaced by “private parts” (always in the plural) and every swear word (no matter how tame) was replaced by the word “Jack.” Perhaps “beep” was offensive in some way in Malaysia.
The movie dialogue now went a little like this:
“I don’t know why men are so interested in private parts. All women have private parts. ”
“Does my private parts look big in this?”
“Jack you, you jack hole! There is no way in jack that you are ever setting foot in my house again!”