This morning started off with a bang when this message flashed across my screen from the school’s internal messenger:
“Hi, please take the trouble to be afraid. Terms of drunkenness life with instructions to send in each classroom. Regulations on page 2 in the ‘2011 student life agreed list of drunkenness, children led to read the content once, please.”
I chuckled to myself (I’ve learned not to laugh out loud unless I want to explain what I’m laughing at), posted it on Facebook, and turned back to the Grade 5 lesson I was preparing for that morning.
I wasn’t laughing 2 minutes later when my Grade 5 co-teacher reeled in, either wildly hung over or still drunk from the night before. He managed to make it to his desk before clapping a hand over his mouth and running from the room. Not a promising start to a day filled with co-taught lessons.
The co-teacher in question is a young man who will start his obligatory military service tomorrow. Apparently the male teachers took him out last night for a few farewell drinks. A few too many by the looks of things! 😀
He spent the morning in the nurse’s room while I taught alone.
“Carrie-teacher! Where is Danny-teacher? [my co-T’s English name is Danny]”
“He is….um…. well…. you see….he… is…”
“He’ll be a little late…” I said finally. It wasn’t a total lie. There was a very small possibility that Danny-teacher would make it to at least one of our classes. What was I supposed to say? Danny-teacher is so hung over he can’t see straight?
He didn’t make it to any of our classes. I had to teach “This is a bedroom and that’s a living room” all on my own. And every class got “kitchen” and “chicken” confused. I’ve never really thought about it but I guess chicken and kitchen sounds similar. Class went a little like this:
Me: “Where is your mother?”
Students: “She is in the chicken!”
Me: “Hahaha! Your mother is in the chicken?”
Me: “No! Your mother is in the kitchen! Kitchen not chicken.” (insert me doing a chicken impersonation here)
Me: “No, kitchen. A kitchen is in your house (I pointed at the screen). You eat chicken (chicken impersonation). Try again.”
Ss: “She is in the chicken? kitchen? No! Chicken!”
I also had a Grade 3 class squeezed in between all of my Grade 5 classes. This was the last of 6 lessons for a unit called Watch Out! My co-teacher (a different, sober co-T) had made a lovely Powerpoint review with pictures of various things the students weren’t supposed to do.
Ss: “Don’t walk! Don’t run! etc.”
Something in Korean flashed up on the screen.
Ss: “Don’t…. teacher what?”
My co-T turned to me. “How do you say that in English?”
“I have no idea. It’s written in Korean.”
It translated loosely as “Don’t let your snot drip here.” Apparently there is a word for that in Korean! Who knew?
“Blow your nose?” I suggested, shuddering.
“Oh no!” she replied, scandalized. “Blowing your nose in public is very rude.”
But dripping snot on people is not?
“Wipe your nose discretely?” I suggested.
Too many Rs and Ls. We finally compromised and went with “Go get a Kleenex.”
You learn something new every day. 🙂